(Pictured front to back) Gretchen Wymore of Gretna, Tracy Poppe of Lincoln and Brenda Matulka of Seward became “breastfriends” at a support group after their fights with breast cancer. This fall, the three took a trip to Estes Park, Colorado, to celebrate 10 years of survivorship and friendship.
After having breast cancer, survivors may have a hard time finding their new normal.
But through a support group, three women learned their normal and became friends in the process—or, as they call themselves, breastfriends.
Brenda Matulka, 60, of Seward, Gretchen Wymore, 54, of Gretna and Tracy Poppe, 44, who lives in Lincoln but is originally from Garland, recently celebrated 10 years of being cancer free by going on a road trip.
“We’ve been breastfriends since the beginning,” Poppe said.
Poppe said she and Matulka met during the winter of 2008. They met Wymore in the summer of 2009 when they attended A Time to Heal, a support group at CHI Health St. Elizabeth.
Wymore said she remembers the women in the support group giving her tips on handling the irritated skin under her bra that was caused by radiation.
“Tracy showed me, ‘I’m in the middle of it, I’ll show you,’” Wymore said, adding that breast cancer patients tend to lose their modesty.
“There’s nothing personal about it anymore,” Poppe said.
Even though they all had breast cancer at around the same time, they all had different types of cancer, were in different stages and had different experiences and treatments.
“You think it’s all just breast cancer, but it’s not,” Matulka said.
Poppe had invasive carcinoma that was triple positive, meaning the cancer cells could grow in response to estrogen, progesterone and the hormone receptor her/2 neu. Her cancer had not spread to her lymph nodes.
Matulka said she had stage one, grade three, triple negative breast cancer. Hers also had not spread to her lymph nodes.
Wymore said she had ductal carcinoma in situ, which is often called stage zero cancer. It stays in the breast duct. Her cancer was also progesterone and her/2 positive.
Both Wymore and Poppe felt lumps in their breasts.
Poppe was 32 when she found her lump. She went to her doctor who said it wasn’t cancer.
A year later, she went back. Her doctor said they would remove the lump to make Poppe feel better, but she was getting married in a week.
So they waited until after the wedding. Doctors found cancer.
“Doctors don’t want to believe young women can get cancer,” Poppe said. “I should’ve been believed.”
“You know when something’s wrong,” Matulka said.
Matulka couldn’t feel a lump in her breast because the cancer was deep against her chest wall. It was found through a mammogram.
Wymore said A Time to Heal is a 12-week class for survivors who are finished with treatment and surgery. It covered emotional recovery and discussed physical changes cancer treatments can cause.
“It’s like a rehab after cancer,” Poppe said.“That’s where we got really close.”
There were five people in the class and one facilitator, who was going through her second round of breast cancer treatment at the time.
Poppe said it was comforting to be around people with similar experiences.
“If you have not been in this situation, you have no idea what it’s like,” Poppe said.
“You laugh, you cry, you hug,” Matulka said. “You want to know where the normal is, and if you’re not in there, you don’t now what normal is.”
Wymore said she was a single mom. She couldn’t tell her kids the dark thoughts she had.
“I couldn’t go up to my kids and say ‘hey, at night I lay awake thinking, if I die, who would take care of you,’” Wymore said. “We all thought things like that at times.”
Poppe said when people go through cancer treatment, it dominates their thinking.
“It consumes every minute of your day and every minute of your thoughts,” Poppe said.
She went to radiation every day over her lunch break for an entire month. It can be difficult to transition out of treatment.
“You’ve just spent the last six months fighting for your life and then one day you’re told ‘OK, you’re done.’” Poppe said. “And then what? That was one of the hardest parts is, ‘now what do I do?’”
“You’re lost and you’re scared,” Matulka said.
Wymore said many survivors still live in fear that the cancer will return. She said that fear can be triggered by a bad mammogram experience.
“We’ve all had that, where we just fear something,” Wymore said. “It does settle down, but it’s still there.”
“Every year, every mammogram,” Poppe said.
Wymore and Poppe said now, their healthcare providers take the mammograms and read them the same day. Wymore said cutting down on the waiting helps cut down on anxiety.
The support group encouraged the women to tell their stories and to discuss their fear and stress, but Wymore said having a sense of humor helps.
“I think that’s one of the things that’s kind of kept us all going because we laugh a lot,” Wymore said.
For example, the breastfriends celebrated their fifth anniversary cancer-free with a party.
They had a mammogram game. They used old cabinet doors and placed balloons between them, then players competed to see who could smash the most balloons.
Despite their distance, ranging from Seward to Gretna, the women try to meet regularly for dinner.
To mark their 10-year anniversary, they decided to go to Estes Park, Colorado, because it’s pretty and relaxing.
“We wanted to celebrate beating cancer. We wanted to celebrate 10 years of survivorship, 10 years of friendship, 10 years spreading hope,” Poppe said.
She said the breastfriends have worked to support other women going through breast cancer.
“[We] tell them the truth, but lovin’ on them, too,” Wymore said.
The women shared their experience in Colorado through their Facebook page, Breastfriends Road Trip.
They linked their trip to their Making Strides page. The American Cancer Society Making Strides Against Breast Cancer is a walk that raises awareness and funds for cancer research.
In addition to raising money for cancer research, Wymore said it’s a form of carrying on.
“We have friends who are gone, so they can’t carry on, so we carry on because they can’t,” Wymore said. “We’re doing it for them and those kids who are left behind without moms.”
Poppe said on their trip, they met other cancer survivors and those whose family members had breast cancer.
“Everybody’s got a story,” Matulka said.
The breastfriends received donations from people and businesses, including R&J Service in Seward.
On their trip, the women hiked in Rocky Mountain National Park and had a picnic. They also relaxed in a hot tub every night and drank wine.
Matulka even got a tattoo.
On their way to Colorado, the women recorded their stories and Matulka said “You just have to carry on.”
Her tattoo, located on top of her foot, is in the shape of a heart with a cross completing one edge of the heart and the words “carry on” on the other.
“You just do what you have to do,” Wymore said.
“Every day,” Matulka said.
Wymore said the trip was what they needed. It was a time to be with each other and not think about anything.
The three have advice for other women: do your self breast exam, get your mammograms, advocate for yourself, trust your intuition and research your options.
Matulka said there are good things that came out of her diagnosis.
“It’s the friends along the way,” Matulka said. “We would’ve never met.”
Wymore said she has made several chemo friends.
“That sustains you,” Wymore said.
Matulka said her perspective has also changed.
“I feel like a better person,” Matulka said. “You don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s what you have in your heart.”
