Jeff Hajny

    I can't lie, I am a tool of the man. We all are.
     It's weird how in society, they are always telling you to be yourself and to express your individuality, and yet everywhere you go, you see people dressed not how they want to dress, but how they were told to dress and not acting how they want to act, but acting how they are told to act.
     Seriously, I'm sure you dress differently when you go to work than when you go to the bar later on that night.
     You're not going to see me when I'm off work walking around town in a dress shirt looking all dapper and stuff.
     If I really wanted to express my individuality and be who I am, I would come to work every day in basketball shorts, a wifebeater and a hat. That's how I usually dress when I'm sitting around at home.
     I hate dressing up, but I do it. Why? Because when you're on the job you have to look professional. Why? Because it's the norm and as a tool of the man, I have to conform to the norm.
     Being tools of the man isn't just in how we dress either.
     Music is very much the same way. Everywhere you go, you can tell who is a fan of rock, who is a country fan, who is a fan of hip-hop and who considers themself a punk rocker. You don't even have to talk to them, but just look at how they act.
     People say music is all about expression and individuality, and yet you can tell what genre of music someone likes just by observing them. They dress the way they do because it's how fans of their genre dress. They talk the way they do because it's how fans of their genre talk.
     I always see fans of hip-hop trying to talk black and throwing all these hand gestures that they saw in a hip-hop video, even though they probably don't know what these gestures even mean. It's funny because most of these people probably grew up in a middle-class family in a town of less than 1,000 people.
     Why do they do it? Because they want to fit in with the genre of music they like.
     It's also funny to see these fans of punk and goth music walking around dressed all in black and talking about how depressed they are and how hard they have it. They probably have really loving, hard working parents and have never experienced real pain in their lives.
     It's just how we are. People want to be themselves, but in doing that, we feel we have to belong to a group of other "individuals."
     People always make me laugh when they say they try to stick it to the man and try to avoid supporting the big evil corporations of the world.
     Sorry, but when you're watching shows on ABC, NBC, CBS, TNT, CNN or the Disney Channel, you're supporting "the man."
     When you shop at pretty much any grocery store, you're supporting "the man," because the majority of them are a part of a larger chain.
     When you eat at McDonald's or Burger King, you are supporting "the man."
     Every time you get on Myspace, Facebook or check your e-mail, you are supporting "the man."
     It's basically impossible to not be a tool of "the man" these days. In order to survive, you have to conform to certain laws and orders. It's the way society is.
     We have to dress a certain way.
     We have to act a certain way.
     We have to talk a certain way.
     Yes, we are all truly tools of the man.
     For those of you who disagree with this, that's your opinion. See you at Wal-Mart.